Depending on your age, you may recall a time in history when there was no Smart Phone. Technological innovations have exploded over the past 50 years. So too have socio-political ideologies and the economic landscape of families. Some pine for the ‘old days’ which they lament were more simple and manageable. Some say that life today is more satisfying with everything one needs and wants right at their cursor.

Back in the day, Divorce too was quite different. It was viewed more narrowly with a harsher stigma. The rules surrounding Child Custody; Alimony and the grounds for divorce were archaic seen thru todays optics. Yet, in a weird bizarre analytic way, it was a much more clear cut time to have a divorce. Much of what transpired during a divorce was ‘Black and White”. One party had and the other party had nothing. One party held power and the other cowered. One party was protected by the law and the other was marginalized.

Today, even with all of the advancements made in the field of Divorce, Divorce is still a heap of complicated mess.

One of the most notable recent issues that we have mediated in a divorce is the circumstance where both parties are gainfully employed and they each agree to the divorce terms including Spousal Support, Child Custody, Child Support, the allocation of retirement benefits and the equitable distribution of real and personal property and yet they discover that they can not survive without physically living together.

Sure, we live in a Samsung-Apple world where everything seems possible. However in our own small compact constellations, health and money and rent and food and school and transportation are tenuous and fragile commodities.

Too often, when a couple’s ideas and portfolio’s are reduced to a white board, the immediate gratification of a smart tablet is immediately reduced to panic and fear. As Divorce Mediators we would like to be able to say, “ Don’t worry…it’s only a state of mind.” We realize that would be outlandish to say but what can be said and done?

It all goes back to the first decision you made right after you decided you wanted a divorce. You decided to use Mediation for your divorce. Who did you choose as your divorce mediator?

If it was Mediate for Life, you selected preeminent divorce mediators who work together as a team standing right beside you in the mediation of your divorce. The synergy of a trained lawyer together with a trained therapist brings to the divorce mediation session a treasure trove of understanding, wisdom, training, experience and creativity. The entirety of our combined wheelhouse is brought to bear on guiding you to an Agreement that is sustainable, intelligent, workable and enduring for both parties.

I am not so bold as to assert that we can help you avoid a situation as commented on above. However, with sensitivity, clarity and comprehensive forethought we can work with you to find a plan that recognizes and respects each person’s dignity and privacy while preserving the health and emotional well being of all involved.

The times they are a changing…” The shift of power and money is an ever present pendulum. The prism of the future offers up an ever changing smorgasbord of needs and issues for parents and children alike. Our steadfast role as Divorce Mediators is to keep the light shining on what still remains the heart of coupledom, family and divorce. That would be, trust, integrity and respect.

steven bettman