Your Lips Are Moving But I Still Don't Understand

This time of year the calendar is bountiful with holidays and celebrations. The Winter Solstice; Christmas; Hannukah; the Cold full moon; Kwanzaa.

Your calendar may have an additional notation written on it…Divorce Mediation Session.

While the holidays and celebrations are fueled with feelings the catalyst in Divorce Mediation is language.

The use of words is vital and instrumental in making mediation work. Our words reflect symbols that we hold dear and the trading and exchange of such symbols opens up the valve of change. When we start to use more and different words, our thinking changes and our ideas become structurally more advanced.

Language is the unifying force of communication that allows us to exchange information.

There is a rub.

We, each to a person, speak a different language and use different words to communicate what we think and feel.

In my office there is hung on the wall the symbol for the fourth chakra…To Speak. Yet, to have a couple in a divorce mediation session talking to one another while each is using words and language that is unknown and indiscernible from gibberish, by the other, it leaves the mediation session in shambles.

I know that when prospective clients are researching on line for a Divorce Mediator, they are focused on finding a practitioner who is well versed in finances and divorce law. The checklist of necessary areas that the Divorce Mediator is proficient in, includes Family Law; Child Psychology; Substance Abuse; Retirement Benefits; Real Estate Law and Wills and Estates.

By the way, the mediators at Mediate for Life categorically fulfill each of these client requirements. However, I believe that our greatest strength and gift is our ability to interpret, discern and reframe the language being used in session. Sometimes it is intuitive and sometimes it is from years of professional experience, training and wisdom that we are able to share and exchange different words and symbols in order to help our couple to better communicate and understand what is being said in session.

Without language and the capacity to understand the word, there is no ability to dream and hope and work to make a Divorce Agreement that symbolizes a better future for each any every client.

We wish you all, Health, Peace and Happiness.

steven bettman