"...So pile on the mash potatoes..."

“ I want a little bit of everything.

The biscuits and the beans.

Whatever helps me to forget about the things that brought me to my knees.

So pile on the mashed potatoes…add an extra chicken wing.

I’m having a little bit of everything”.

This stanza is from a new song by Dawes.

It is simple yet poignant. Strangely whimsical, beautiful and wonderfully reminiscent of classic Jackson Browne.

The song in it’s entirety may hold a different meaning for you, but this verse reverberates with the anguish which is at the heart of Divorce Mediation.

As a couple immerse themselves deeper into the decisions that need to be addressed in order to effectively reach a divorce agreement, there comes a confluence of feelings much like a combination of a tornado and a battering ram.

Shame and guilt…anger and loathing top the spectrum of what one experiences during a divorce.

What Mediation allows for is the opening of some space in the psyche of the parties.

At Mediation for Life, we do not want our clients to cement themselves into the rigid and unyielding belief system that they are in fact the shame they feel.

It is our goal to help our couples find the key to detach and decouple from the erroneous belief that once a person’s inner axis shifts due to taking a divorce detour in life, that such an event does not inextricably tie that person to all the negative connotations that arise from getting a divorce.

Simply put, obtaining a divorce does NOT define who you are nor where you are going or what you are capable of.

While mediating divorces, we have discovered that it is healthy and preferred, that each person strive to want little bit of everything.

Why shouldn’t the thirst and hunger for life be nurtured and sustained.

And when you are looking for life after divorce, it is healthy and encouraged to look out into the new world and say, “ I’m having a little bit of everything.”

steven bettman